If your goal is to maximize your chances of getting back with your ex, you need to fully commit to it. You can’t stay in touch with the person you cheated with and hope to still get back with your ex. You can’t dilly dally around this. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t keep that person as an option if you are committed to getting your ex back.
https://brightwomen.net/brasilianska-kvinnor/
If you want to have any chances of getting back together, you need to cut off the person you cheated on your ex with. And you need to stick to it. Even if you feel lonely, sad or tempted to just screw around one last time; you need to stick to it.
The best way to do this is to let them know that you can’t be in contact with them because you want to make it work with your ex.
Yes, you need to do this even if your ex wants to stay broken up with you. Doing this shows commitment from you. And that can go a long way in getting them back.
2. Don’t Do Any Kind of Manipulation or Play Mind Games
I have to include this point because there is a lot of unhealthy advice on the internet about trying to make your ex jealous during no contact or play mind games.
Don’t do it. Don’t post pictures on social media to make your ex jealous. Don’t try to show up accidentally where your ex is going to visit. Don’t post cryptic stories on Insta to make your ex curious.
3. Understand Why you Cheated.
But monogamy is something that you agreed to when you started the relationship with your ex. When you decided to be exclusive, you promised them that you would only be with them and not anyone else. And by cheating on them, you broke that promise. You betrayed their trust and you hurt them.
Why did you hurt this person who trusted you with all their heart? Why did you betray them when you knew that it will end the relationship that you cherished so much?
In the 1980s and 90s, studies suggested that men usually cheat because of sexual reasons and women cheat for emotional reasons. However, recent studies have shown that is no longer the case. A study published in Trends In Psychology suggested men and women are unfaithful to the same extent and for the same reasons. Let’s discuss these reasons in brief.
1. Emotional Void
Essentially, if you felt there was an emotional void in your life, you tend to look outside your relationship to fill that. Sometimes, you crave attention from your partner, you feel you need acceptance, you need to feel attractive, you need to feel pampered or you need to feel supported. If you don’t get that, you are likely to seek that emotional connection from outside the relationship. And often, that emotional connection turns into having feelings for someone else which leads to physical infidelity.
Again, both men and women can cheat because of this reason. According to Dark Horse, a guy who has been cheating on his wife,
It was never about the sex for me. I wanted to feel wanted again and I craved attention. Having an attractive woman pining over me filled me with dopamine more than anything I’ve ever experienced. To get those butterflies in your stomach, to get that rush, there are simply no words to describe the euphoria. If it led to sex great, however if not, I was satisfied with kisses and regular contact. I was happy with having someone to talk to, share my problems with and being heard. It was a far cry from my reality at home.